14 Comments
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Toad Doctor's avatar

My own personal favorite is an answer I got on an English test I gave about "Of Mice and Men"; "I don't know the answer to this one, but I like cake and I just got a new pair of shoes."

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Fit To Teach's avatar

Gotta appreciate a kid with a sense of humor.

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𝓐fra 𝓜asud's avatar

🤣🤣🤣

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Joseph L. Wiess's avatar

Inmates don't realize an officer is right until they've been chosen to help the officer do something.

Then, they watch how ther other inmates drag their feet, which takes longer to get the two things done.

It's sort of worth it when the two look at the rest, then look at me.

One will always say, "Yanno, if they'd just listen to you, we could already be through with this and the dayroom would be open."

The other one will always say, "Yep, idiots."

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Sarah's avatar

When I taught, I used to find amazing notes written by students - to themselves, or each other. The one that stands out most read as follows:

TYPES OF SEX

1. Regular

2. Butt

3. Oral

4. Asphyxiation

5. In an Escalade

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Fit To Teach's avatar

IN AN ESCALADE 😆😂😆. This note is one of the best I’ve heard of. Thank you for that.

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Onalee McGraw's avatar

In spite of all the deficits and loss of community norms, these young people who are your students struggle hard to make sense of the world don't they? As a great grandmother who grew up in the late 50s my heart breaks for them. I have developed a classic movie study project that I would love for you to share with your fellow teachers. It is all free - 12 Angry Men, High Noon, It's a Wonderful Life, and accessible to try out without cost. Educationalguidanceinstitute.com and please let me know what you think! If you guys go for this, I will help without cost for the sake of the kids.

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Fit To Teach's avatar

I'll be sure to check it out Onalee. (And don't let your heart break too hard for this post, both the kids and the teachers had a laugh in this story.)

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Tim Small's avatar

These are pretty good. Got a few of my own. Rather than say ‘watch out here I come’ I think it much more fitting to propose a joint effort, an anthology with multiple sources, at some indefinite point in the future, which would be sure to set Substack on fire 😎

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Fit To Teach's avatar

oooohhh, a collaborative effort between all the substack teachers would really get the people going. Lol, NYC teachers alone have a gold mine of lines like these.

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Tim Small's avatar

Bring it on Knickerbockers! 21 Years in South Central LA LA Land. We’ll burn your Waymo!

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G Bobbi's avatar

I’m sure his reading (and knowledge of the slang) makes many of these much funnier than just reading them.

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Fit To Teach's avatar

Lol, I was thinking that while writing this. Probably just translates so much better when you hear the kids voices on in your head. Ah well, I still enjoyed writing it.

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Katherine's avatar

Effin awesome!

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