Wow! I also grew up in NYC and all my schooling happened there. While I was reading it was almost surreal; I remember a fight broke out in my school with two girls in the exact same way. You handled it perfectly though!
Well, this puts things in perspective. My 12 year old grandchildren are in 7th grade in a kinda rough school for this area. They tell stories of kids throwing trash cans at teachers and refuse to use the restrooms at school because there is where a lot of the nonsense takes place. They are mostly popular, well respected kids but they are nonetheless careful of their environment.
I can only admire you. Go for every pay raise you can get. You certainly do not get paid enough. What you do does not show up on the bottom line of the ledger but it does show up on the small daily successes of your student’s lives.
Please take care of yourself. I know you’re coping well; you’re learning how to anticipate violence and you’ve learned how to regulate your emotional responses. But this kind of adrenaline pumping violence accretes over time, each incident a tiny slice of damage. I also thought I was balanced enough to handle ongoing trauma. It caught up to me. (I was a criminal defense attorney doing DP work at the end). Looking back now, the hopelessness and anger I felt at “the system” was in part a reflection of the combination of victim and client violence ignorance and despair that just …settled into me. I’ve been retired for years and I’m just now coming out of it. These things burrow into you.
Wow! I also grew up in NYC and all my schooling happened there. While I was reading it was almost surreal; I remember a fight broke out in my school with two girls in the exact same way. You handled it perfectly though!
Stayed alive. Didn’t completely destroy my blood pressure.
Well, this puts things in perspective. My 12 year old grandchildren are in 7th grade in a kinda rough school for this area. They tell stories of kids throwing trash cans at teachers and refuse to use the restrooms at school because there is where a lot of the nonsense takes place. They are mostly popular, well respected kids but they are nonetheless careful of their environment.
I can only admire you. Go for every pay raise you can get. You certainly do not get paid enough. What you do does not show up on the bottom line of the ledger but it does show up on the small daily successes of your student’s lives.
Thank you for the words of encouragement. I appreciate it.
Please take care of yourself. I know you’re coping well; you’re learning how to anticipate violence and you’ve learned how to regulate your emotional responses. But this kind of adrenaline pumping violence accretes over time, each incident a tiny slice of damage. I also thought I was balanced enough to handle ongoing trauma. It caught up to me. (I was a criminal defense attorney doing DP work at the end). Looking back now, the hopelessness and anger I felt at “the system” was in part a reflection of the combination of victim and client violence ignorance and despair that just …settled into me. I’ve been retired for years and I’m just now coming out of it. These things burrow into you.
I appreciate the concern. I'll do my best to stay aware of it. Make sure I'm not masking it.
I used to live about 4 blocks from that school.
It sounds like you might want to consider training brazilian jiu-jitsu.
https://jmpolemic.substack.com/p/the-gift-of-violence
Great piece.
“Fortunately, juvenile detention didn’t happen”? Are you out of your mind?