That was a masterful piece of teaching.. you are lucky to have that dean behind you. You knew he was in survival mode but you reading back what he said allowed him reflection.. don’t know what his future is but I hope he remembers your humanity towards him. My guess is he is adhd maybe with a learning disability. Boys act out like this out of fear but they should not be able to run over you and now he knows it. Shane on the man who left him behind..
I have specific soft spot in my heart for boys who I honestly feel as though they just need more time to move...though admittedly he was on the far end of the spectrum of what I can tolerate.
What about the kids who have to be in this kid’s class and have to put up with his disrespect and verbal abuse towards them? Do you have a soft spot for them?
I certainly do have a soft spot for the students who had to tolerate this kids abuse.
Perhaps I didn't get this point across well enough throughout the article, and if I didn't then that's on me, but it is an absolute almost impossible bureaucratic nightmare getting a kid truly removed from your class. You'll notice that every time he acted out, I would call security and have him removed. When I finally had the power to truly remove him, I had that restorative conversation with him.
Once he understood I had that power, his behavior in my class improved. He was by no means perfect, but he was tolerable. This way I didn't completely derail his chances of graduating.
Also, I will update this article by the end of this week, but the kid visited the school yesterday. He ended up graduating last year, and he is currently enrolled in college as an accounting major. When I asked him if he was enjoying it he smiled and said, "you know I'm all about the money."
I'm not saying this means his future will be perfect...but I do know if I pulled the plug and removed him from my class (one which is mandatory for graduation) it's likely he wouldn't be an accounting major right now.
I’m a former middle school teacher, and can confirm our hearts hurt for all our students. It’s absolutely gut wrenching and heartbreaking to have one student ruin the learning experience of others day after day. And there should be an alternative to keeping them in the classroom, but the resources don’t exist. The political will to provide support for problematic students just isn’t there.
Most districts include an alternative school, but they are extremely expensive because the teacher to student ratio is so small and a lot of security and staff is needed to keep the learning environment stable. Only the most dangerous to self or others students are placed there.
The only way to save the class is to get that “David” to at least meet you halfway.
You make the phone calls, you have the conversations, you do the documentation and sometimes you see improvement. And it isn’t about saving that one kid. It’s about creating stability and predictability for the whole class. You do it for the love of all your students. When you finally get through a whole reading lesson without things going sideways, it feels like you just cured cancer.
But the only time I saw complete reform of behavior during the school year was when another student’s parents pressed charges against the disruptive child following a hallway scuffle and he had to appear in court. That scared him into a state of relative cooperation for the rest of the year.
I feel empathy towards this troubled boy, but I can’t help but think about all of the abuse that he hurdled at his fellow students that you may have missed. I don’t believe that teachers can catch all that is going on when their backs are turned. What a nightmare for the other students. I commend you, truly I do, but good grief this story is awful. And accounting… hopefully he was an honest bully.
Great; he basically responded with what you wanted to hear. However, following up the next logical (?) progression of "why?" could have led to an understanding of his motivation(s)... and therefrom an avenue to develop a dialogue.
All in all, congratulations. It really is above and beyond in era where the "administrators" often times treat the students as a necessary inconvenience.
What a massive waste of time and energy. How many kids who needed your help were ignored because they weren't the squeaky wheel? Get the fuck rid of him and let him live on the street which is almost certainly what he'll be doing anyway since the local CJ won't put him in prison half as long as he deserves.
As I read every line of this beautiful piece, I thought of all those *good* kids in your classes that needed your help, your advice and validation, so often (not usually!) ignored. Because all your attention is taken by a tyrant who demands it. And you gave it to him. You had the chance to excise this cancer from your limited time on this planet and you chose not to. Shame.
Skull, you raise a good point here, and it's one I think about a lot. The kid was a cancer to other students in class. I write as much in this piece you might find interesting.
But there are two things I've come to terms with while teaching in my particular school. There's no other place for them to go, this school is basically it. It's here (its the last choice for many kids in NYC) and then there's jail. Two, once I get that kid to the point where I can remove him at any moment, (and I agree with you, that process is ludicrously long and laden with meaningless bureaucracy) once I had that power, and that kid understood that I had it, he stopped fucking up my class. He even participated in some of the competitive tournaments I host for the school.
The kid might be a lost cause...and I honestly doubt if what I did there had life changing impact, but I still think its just part of the job.
Now if only they would pay me a reasonable wage for it...
Same. I hated to watch the quiet, well behaved students suffer because of kids like this when I was a teacher. They took over the class and, because administrators did basically nothing, the rest of the kids, who were there to learn, got the short end of the stick. I retired early because you just can’t teach anymore. Instead, you put out fires all day long due to kids like this not caring about anyone but themselves.
I can only agree that the lack of administrative support has burnt out a huge number of teachers. Over a 4 year period of time, My school has around an 80% burnout rate. Teachers either leave for other schools, or leave the profession altogether.
Some kids are bad and they should be tossed. If we had infinite resources and every student got his own tutor, or if a teacher spends more of his time on the bad students than any other student, then David might have a chance.
You cut the problem kids out when they have severely prevented other students from learning during a given day, be that the third time, the fifth time, or the tenth time.
It doesn't matter if a kid thinks the teacher is on his side if the teacher never has time to be on his side.
The primary problem with the American education system is lack of accountability for students. We have devolved to the point we have because students know we are willing to waste our time on coddling them. Students know we have ceded control of the classroom. Students know that the Davids have taken over. And we need to fucking take the classroom back. Kick David out. He has no business in the classroom.
So these kids who are just "bad," are any of them your kids? Your friends' kids?
Do any of them look like you?
At what age did you decide they were irredeemable?
Freshman year?
Sixth grade?
FIRST GRADE?
Were they tested for learning disabilities, allergies, visual or hearing disabilities?
Does your state offer free breakfast and lunch to students?
I am the product of the DC public schools. I went to junior high school in the early 1970s.
We had tracking in junior high school which meant kids whose parents were involved got harder classes than kids where no one seemed to care.
And the kids where no one seemed to care ran a little wild.
But in high school, we had an assistant principal who ran a tight ship. (Technically, the principal did but the assistant principal was in the hallways and the bathrooms and the smoking areas maintaining order.)
He did not believe in tossing kids. He believed in discipline and a healthy amount of fear. He was a former Marine. I never saw him raise his hand -- I never doubted he could kill you without breaking a sweat.
Those kids who had been ignored were showing up to class. They were high fiving him in the hall. They were standing up straight when he stopped them and producing their pass.
They were graduating. Because he expected them to graduate.
You're quick to claim the American educational system "coddles" kids.
I think it neglects them in two many cases until they can toss them.
And since charter schools and private schools won't take them, the kids are lost.
First of all, if we could save them all, then we wouldn't be having this discussion, because all the kids would be saved. We know we can't do that in our current system, or even a system ten times better than ours. So we have to triage. That's my whole argument. Triage.
I'm not throwing anyone in the trash. What I'm advocating for is not wasting endless hours digging AN ADULT out of the trash at the expense of all the kids who need us but don't cause massive headaches, so they get ignored at least some of the time.
As for your wonderful anecdote about your AP, "hire more superstars like the one I worked with," is not a policy proposal at all, let alone a good one.
Your highly credentialed, naive "save them all" ideology plays very well at education conventions and university classrooms, I have no doubt about that.
No you can’t “toss” unruly kids. However, i. My experience, too much time and attention was given to them while the kids who were there to learn got the short end of the stick. I made a point to give them the attention they deserved but I worked with other staff who fed into the bad kids’ behavior. And as a mother of the “good” kids (six) who had to endure the constant disruptions was also infuriating. The time away from teaching is never ending. I didn’t sign up to put out fires all day. I just couldn’t do it anymore and realized this. I loved my job until I didn’t.
It's part of the reason I write this blog. One, I want to make more money for myself outside of an antiquated system that won't pay based on merit. Two, I want everyone to see what inner-city teachers deal with on a daily basis. Some with grace, others with none.
I'm confused. That kid is allowed to wild and you patiently write up notes about it? Why should you and other students have their wasted for a single minute? I come from an era where you kicked out of class.
Different times. I'm jealous. In order to enforce consequences teacher's usually have to defend why they are enforcing them in the first place. It's your word vs theirs. You have to build evidence almost like a lawyer proving a point in a case i order to get a kid removed from your classroom. This is usually a detriment to the other kids in the class.
It sounds from your story like you “started the process” after this kid already had a very long history of extremely bad behavior. Why not start the process the first time and get rid of them by the third?
Me too. But now days you have to write them up like an employee/employer thing. In my day they also paddled the boys. Now that’s abuse. I wonder who was the first to sue a school district over the “due process” issue?👹
Hello, after I listened to your recording with Skylar Singer about the movie The Substance, I signed up for your Substack writings. I read them yesterday morning at 2 AM because I was wide awake due to jet lag from traveling from Europe. I laughed out loud and thoroughly enjoyed each entry. Thank you for keeping me company in the middle of the night. You are clearly a very good writer, as well as an extraordinary teacher. What a joy to see you using your creativity in such a productive way. It’s nice to read something that’s not serious.
Now I think I hate you a little bit for not finishing the story. " . . .and David went on to teach undeserved Ugandans how to whistle," or something! I need closure!!!
CJ, got an important update on the kids life this past Monday. I updated the article at the bottom called Aftermath Part 2. I think you'll like where he's headed so far.
CJ, I'm not exactly sure. He did graduate - though admittedly I wasn't happy about it - it was one of those cases where he was pushed through. I'm honestly not sure where he is right now.
And then David stabbed someone because he stole his phone when they were sleeping on the same empty lot, and now he's got a criminal record and will be in and out of prison for about 15 years until he overdoses on fentanyl the day after his latest release. Saved you some time imagining all the possibilities.
No right or wrong answers here. I had every right and power to remove him from the class...I made a judgement to give it one more shot. Once he knew I had the power to completely boot him from my class, his behavior did change significantly.
But I can agree with you, sometimes me giving extra chances damages the ability of other kids learning chances. Again, I've got no brilliant answers for you. It was the call I made in the moment.
Appreciate you Walker. And on the contrary, as much as they're a pain in my ass, it's the rotten apples that keep making me better and better at teaching. The more asshole kids I flip to the good side, the more I know I can teach anywhere I want to. The profession is a craft I can't help but love.
They can also flip after they’ve left, when I was teaching Biology in a small town in north Scotland (Oh yes the bad apples show up everywhere 🙄), I would sometimes meet these ones and get the “I wish I’d listened when you were trying to help”. In your situation that’s highly unlikely 🤣
Your last sentence sums up what I meant. Good luck!
Alastair, I got an important update on the kids life this past Monday. I updated the article at the bottom and called it Aftermath Part II. I think you'll enjoy where it goes.
I have a friend who is teacher for the past 35 years. This year a 5th grader (A 5th GRADER), has decided to target my friend and try to get her to quit or retire early. She's not even in her class, but she misbehave around and towards my friend so that she can complain and accuse her of targeted, abusive, dismissive treatment. My friend is strong but the lack of school administration and teacher union support, not to mention the girls mom, she went out on stress leave. And this is in Northern CA. Finally the solution was a no contact contract where they have no interaction whatsoever. But that's bullshit, teachers need backup and students need discipline, even if they're not getting it at home.
Toni, I got an important update on the kids life this past Monday. I updated the article at the bottom and called it Aftermath Part II. Hopefully this sheds some light on the power of restorative conversation.
I honor you, spiritual warrior. It takes genuine agency to acknowledge the extent to which we must be willing to go to truly save one from themselves. One must grasp at something hidden in plain sight; God’s patience with ALL OF US, believers and nonbelievers.
Happy Easter ye lowly and fruitful saint of teachers. Continue your walk with LORD. And never let go of his hand.
AnonmymousAddict, I got an important update on the kids life this past Monday. I updated the article at the bottom and called it Aftermath Part II. I think you'll enjoy where it goes.
I keep thinking that a mandatory ROTC boot camp style public school with all the trappings of real basic training is the system needed for these kids. You can see the problem... broken down by his life circumstances to a deep level of insecurity that the kid attempts to resolve in creating an identity based on a completely wrong path of behavior. The military strips that identity and builds one with the right path of behavior. I would also pay the kids for the work they are required to do at that camp... and give them promotional opportunities for demonstrated higher performance.
Frank lee, I got an important update on the kids life this past Monday. I updated the article at the bottom and called it Aftermath Part II. I think you'll enjoy where it goes.
its frustrating for sure. And this was a particularly ludicrous case I dealt with 2 years ago. But on the flipside, I do believe the restorative conversations are more helpful then a suspension with no conversation. Its a far more arduous process, but it usually leads to better results.
Mark, here's an article I wrote in response to my own frustration with this students graduation. It may shed some light on why high schools do everything they can not to kick kids out of the school even when they derail everyone else's education.
Mark, I got an important update on the kids life this past Monday. I updated the article at the bottom and called it Aftermath Part II. I think you'll enjoy where it goes.
Tough to give up on a kid like that. Everyone else has. Are you going to be the one who makes a difference? I think so.
Tough to continue as is as well. That’s why we get to grow up & make the tough calls. Except you care & you’ll end living with it too. So go ahead & give him what you know he needs.
He'll never have what he needs, that ship has sailed, it's too late for him. There are so many kids who we *can* make a difference for who need our help. David isn't one of them. He's a lost cause.
Maybe. Maybe not. I think thats joy and frustration with teaching in general. You never know what you do or what you say that will actually make difference. Kids you thought were guaranteed to get a great job, end up living at home, others kids you convinced were going to become drug addicts clean up their act together later.
I commend your patience and extension of grace. While your other students suffered through it, they also learned life lessons on how to use those qualities when necessary. Teaching often is planting trees under whose shade you will never sit.
Also, I got an important update on the kids life this past Monday. I updated the article at the bottom and called it Aftermath Part II. I think you'll enjoy where it goes.
I feel like I just read a season 4 episode synopsis of The Wire. God bless you for caring my man
Lol. You have know idea how much I think about the principal who crossed herself across the chest before the kids came in for the first day of school.
Tickle my nuts yo
Wth?!?
Agreed!!!
That was a masterful piece of teaching.. you are lucky to have that dean behind you. You knew he was in survival mode but you reading back what he said allowed him reflection.. don’t know what his future is but I hope he remembers your humanity towards him. My guess is he is adhd maybe with a learning disability. Boys act out like this out of fear but they should not be able to run over you and now he knows it. Shane on the man who left him behind..
I have specific soft spot in my heart for boys who I honestly feel as though they just need more time to move...though admittedly he was on the far end of the spectrum of what I can tolerate.
What about the kids who have to be in this kid’s class and have to put up with his disrespect and verbal abuse towards them? Do you have a soft spot for them?
Sorry for the late reply. I'm just seeing this.
I certainly do have a soft spot for the students who had to tolerate this kids abuse.
Perhaps I didn't get this point across well enough throughout the article, and if I didn't then that's on me, but it is an absolute almost impossible bureaucratic nightmare getting a kid truly removed from your class. You'll notice that every time he acted out, I would call security and have him removed. When I finally had the power to truly remove him, I had that restorative conversation with him.
Once he understood I had that power, his behavior in my class improved. He was by no means perfect, but he was tolerable. This way I didn't completely derail his chances of graduating.
Also, I will update this article by the end of this week, but the kid visited the school yesterday. He ended up graduating last year, and he is currently enrolled in college as an accounting major. When I asked him if he was enjoying it he smiled and said, "you know I'm all about the money."
I'm not saying this means his future will be perfect...but I do know if I pulled the plug and removed him from my class (one which is mandatory for graduation) it's likely he wouldn't be an accounting major right now.
You are literally doing God's work and saving lives.
If there was a way to replicate this kind of connection at scale I can only imagine the kind of change we'd see in 10-15 years.
I gave the article an update on the where the kid is if you're interested in checking where he went post high school
That’s amazing! You really did make a difference. Makes it all worth it.
So how does a kid who has learned few if any basics of education: reading, math, etc. get into college?
I’m a former middle school teacher, and can confirm our hearts hurt for all our students. It’s absolutely gut wrenching and heartbreaking to have one student ruin the learning experience of others day after day. And there should be an alternative to keeping them in the classroom, but the resources don’t exist. The political will to provide support for problematic students just isn’t there.
Most districts include an alternative school, but they are extremely expensive because the teacher to student ratio is so small and a lot of security and staff is needed to keep the learning environment stable. Only the most dangerous to self or others students are placed there.
The only way to save the class is to get that “David” to at least meet you halfway.
You make the phone calls, you have the conversations, you do the documentation and sometimes you see improvement. And it isn’t about saving that one kid. It’s about creating stability and predictability for the whole class. You do it for the love of all your students. When you finally get through a whole reading lesson without things going sideways, it feels like you just cured cancer.
But the only time I saw complete reform of behavior during the school year was when another student’s parents pressed charges against the disruptive child following a hallway scuffle and he had to appear in court. That scared him into a state of relative cooperation for the rest of the year.
I feel empathy towards this troubled boy, but I can’t help but think about all of the abuse that he hurdled at his fellow students that you may have missed. I don’t believe that teachers can catch all that is going on when their backs are turned. What a nightmare for the other students. I commend you, truly I do, but good grief this story is awful. And accounting… hopefully he was an honest bully.
[Perhaps too critical:]
Great; he basically responded with what you wanted to hear. However, following up the next logical (?) progression of "why?" could have led to an understanding of his motivation(s)... and therefrom an avenue to develop a dialogue.
All in all, congratulations. It really is above and beyond in era where the "administrators" often times treat the students as a necessary inconvenience.
I updated the post with a longer Aftermath part II if you care to read it. May interest you.
What a massive waste of time and energy. How many kids who needed your help were ignored because they weren't the squeaky wheel? Get the fuck rid of him and let him live on the street which is almost certainly what he'll be doing anyway since the local CJ won't put him in prison half as long as he deserves.
As I read every line of this beautiful piece, I thought of all those *good* kids in your classes that needed your help, your advice and validation, so often (not usually!) ignored. Because all your attention is taken by a tyrant who demands it. And you gave it to him. You had the chance to excise this cancer from your limited time on this planet and you chose not to. Shame.
Skull, you raise a good point here, and it's one I think about a lot. The kid was a cancer to other students in class. I write as much in this piece you might find interesting.
https://fittoteach.substack.com/p/make-a-high-school-degree-mean-something
But there are two things I've come to terms with while teaching in my particular school. There's no other place for them to go, this school is basically it. It's here (its the last choice for many kids in NYC) and then there's jail. Two, once I get that kid to the point where I can remove him at any moment, (and I agree with you, that process is ludicrously long and laden with meaningless bureaucracy) once I had that power, and that kid understood that I had it, he stopped fucking up my class. He even participated in some of the competitive tournaments I host for the school.
The kid might be a lost cause...and I honestly doubt if what I did there had life changing impact, but I still think its just part of the job.
Now if only they would pay me a reasonable wage for it...
Same. I hated to watch the quiet, well behaved students suffer because of kids like this when I was a teacher. They took over the class and, because administrators did basically nothing, the rest of the kids, who were there to learn, got the short end of the stick. I retired early because you just can’t teach anymore. Instead, you put out fires all day long due to kids like this not caring about anyone but themselves.
I can only agree that the lack of administrative support has burnt out a huge number of teachers. Over a 4 year period of time, My school has around an 80% burnout rate. Teachers either leave for other schools, or leave the profession altogether.
I lasted 31 years. I planned on teaching for 35 but I didn’t have it in me anymore.
Kuver. 31 years is incredible by any stretch. Thank you for your service.
What did you want those other kids to learn?
Some kids are just born bad and they should be tossed?
When do you cut those problem kids out?
Is it the first incident? The third? Is the intolerance the same for the kid saying the n word as it is for the football player in the back row?
Every kid in that class knew their teacher was on their side because they saw him be on David's side.
Thank you for that.
Kids are not “bad “ Everyone deserves as much help/tough love that they need.
Some kids are bad and they should be tossed. If we had infinite resources and every student got his own tutor, or if a teacher spends more of his time on the bad students than any other student, then David might have a chance.
You cut the problem kids out when they have severely prevented other students from learning during a given day, be that the third time, the fifth time, or the tenth time.
It doesn't matter if a kid thinks the teacher is on his side if the teacher never has time to be on his side.
The primary problem with the American education system is lack of accountability for students. We have devolved to the point we have because students know we are willing to waste our time on coddling them. Students know we have ceded control of the classroom. Students know that the Davids have taken over. And we need to fucking take the classroom back. Kick David out. He has no business in the classroom.
I updated this article with an Aftermath Part II. You may be interested to know where this kid landed post high school.
I just love watching you throw kids in the trash.
Because God knows that worked in the past.
🙄
So these kids who are just "bad," are any of them your kids? Your friends' kids?
Do any of them look like you?
At what age did you decide they were irredeemable?
Freshman year?
Sixth grade?
FIRST GRADE?
Were they tested for learning disabilities, allergies, visual or hearing disabilities?
Does your state offer free breakfast and lunch to students?
I am the product of the DC public schools. I went to junior high school in the early 1970s.
We had tracking in junior high school which meant kids whose parents were involved got harder classes than kids where no one seemed to care.
And the kids where no one seemed to care ran a little wild.
But in high school, we had an assistant principal who ran a tight ship. (Technically, the principal did but the assistant principal was in the hallways and the bathrooms and the smoking areas maintaining order.)
He did not believe in tossing kids. He believed in discipline and a healthy amount of fear. He was a former Marine. I never saw him raise his hand -- I never doubted he could kill you without breaking a sweat.
Those kids who had been ignored were showing up to class. They were high fiving him in the hall. They were standing up straight when he stopped them and producing their pass.
They were graduating. Because he expected them to graduate.
You're quick to claim the American educational system "coddles" kids.
I think it neglects them in two many cases until they can toss them.
And since charter schools and private schools won't take them, the kids are lost.
Fuck that shit. Save them all.
First of all, if we could save them all, then we wouldn't be having this discussion, because all the kids would be saved. We know we can't do that in our current system, or even a system ten times better than ours. So we have to triage. That's my whole argument. Triage.
I'm not throwing anyone in the trash. What I'm advocating for is not wasting endless hours digging AN ADULT out of the trash at the expense of all the kids who need us but don't cause massive headaches, so they get ignored at least some of the time.
As for your wonderful anecdote about your AP, "hire more superstars like the one I worked with," is not a policy proposal at all, let alone a good one.
Your highly credentialed, naive "save them all" ideology plays very well at education conventions and university classrooms, I have no doubt about that.
Are you a teacher? This sounds great in theory. Live it first hand then get back to me.
Not as a teacher.
I saw it as a student where there were teachers who wrote us off and teachers who valued effort over zip code.
Discipline and fear are badly needed.
A healthy amount of fear.
But Mr. D wasn't terrorizing 7 year olds.
You could not push him but he also modeled the behavior he expected.
100% agree.
Yes, some kids are bad and should be tossed. The vast majority, really.
Would you have been one of them?
Or once again is it always other people's kids?
I was a good kid. But I knew plenty that would be more useful and productive in Soylent Green form
Helikitty, And a lot of other people feel the same way. Some about you.
How about we switch to a growth mindset instead of a fixed mindset and see what we can do?
No you can’t “toss” unruly kids. However, i. My experience, too much time and attention was given to them while the kids who were there to learn got the short end of the stick. I made a point to give them the attention they deserved but I worked with other staff who fed into the bad kids’ behavior. And as a mother of the “good” kids (six) who had to endure the constant disruptions was also infuriating. The time away from teaching is never ending. I didn’t sign up to put out fires all day. I just couldn’t do it anymore and realized this. I loved my job until I didn’t.
You deserve to be making at least 5 times whatever they’re paying you
I like you Paul.
It's part of the reason I write this blog. One, I want to make more money for myself outside of an antiquated system that won't pay based on merit. Two, I want everyone to see what inner-city teachers deal with on a daily basis. Some with grace, others with none.
I'm confused. That kid is allowed to wild and you patiently write up notes about it? Why should you and other students have their wasted for a single minute? I come from an era where you kicked out of class.
Different times. I'm jealous. In order to enforce consequences teacher's usually have to defend why they are enforcing them in the first place. It's your word vs theirs. You have to build evidence almost like a lawyer proving a point in a case i order to get a kid removed from your classroom. This is usually a detriment to the other kids in the class.
It sounds from your story like you “started the process” after this kid already had a very long history of extremely bad behavior. Why not start the process the first time and get rid of them by the third?
Me too. But now days you have to write them up like an employee/employer thing. In my day they also paddled the boys. Now that’s abuse. I wonder who was the first to sue a school district over the “due process” issue?👹
Hello, after I listened to your recording with Skylar Singer about the movie The Substance, I signed up for your Substack writings. I read them yesterday morning at 2 AM because I was wide awake due to jet lag from traveling from Europe. I laughed out loud and thoroughly enjoyed each entry. Thank you for keeping me company in the middle of the night. You are clearly a very good writer, as well as an extraordinary teacher. What a joy to see you using your creativity in such a productive way. It’s nice to read something that’s not serious.
Glad you're enjoying the work. Thanks for the support =)
Now I think I hate you a little bit for not finishing the story. " . . .and David went on to teach undeserved Ugandans how to whistle," or something! I need closure!!!
CJ, got an important update on the kids life this past Monday. I updated the article at the bottom called Aftermath Part 2. I think you'll like where he's headed so far.
https://fittoteach.substack.com/p/make-a-high-school-degree-mean-something
CJ, this is an article I wrote, that's somewhat related to my thoughts on his graduation. It's not exactly sunshine and rainbows though.
CJ, I'm not exactly sure. He did graduate - though admittedly I wasn't happy about it - it was one of those cases where he was pushed through. I'm honestly not sure where he is right now.
And then David stabbed someone because he stole his phone when they were sleeping on the same empty lot, and now he's got a criminal record and will be in and out of prison for about 15 years until he overdoses on fentanyl the day after his latest release. Saved you some time imagining all the possibilities.
Maybe. Maybe not.
Again Skull, I do hope you read the updated version of this article I just posted.
Continue to give this kid chances while ignoring the respectful kids who want to learn. That makes sense.
No right or wrong answers here. I had every right and power to remove him from the class...I made a judgement to give it one more shot. Once he knew I had the power to completely boot him from my class, his behavior did change significantly.
But I can agree with you, sometimes me giving extra chances damages the ability of other kids learning chances. Again, I've got no brilliant answers for you. It was the call I made in the moment.
Wow, some saints don’t have that much patience!
So, two years down the line ……………
What happened?
“I think we should be told!”
lol, well. He graduated. But I will say I wasn't happy about it. Here's an article about my frustration with a system that graduates this kind of kid.
https://fittoteach.substack.com/p/make-a-high-school-degree-mean-something
I am pleased, that I never gave up. But honestly, after graduation I'm not sure where he's at. I hoping something he changed a corner somewhere.
Well done you! Sticking with your principles 👏🏻
At the same time you deserve credit for calling out what is wrong with the system!
You have the gift that not all teachers have, please don’t let the rotten apples/system put you off.
Just count the others that you have directly or indirectly helped 👍🏻👏🏻🥰
Appreciate you Walker. And on the contrary, as much as they're a pain in my ass, it's the rotten apples that keep making me better and better at teaching. The more asshole kids I flip to the good side, the more I know I can teach anywhere I want to. The profession is a craft I can't help but love.
Thanks, it’s Alastair 😊
They can also flip after they’ve left, when I was teaching Biology in a small town in north Scotland (Oh yes the bad apples show up everywhere 🙄), I would sometimes meet these ones and get the “I wish I’d listened when you were trying to help”. In your situation that’s highly unlikely 🤣
Your last sentence sums up what I meant. Good luck!
Thank you =)
Alastair, I got an important update on the kids life this past Monday. I updated the article at the bottom and called it Aftermath Part II. I think you'll enjoy where it goes.
I have a friend who is teacher for the past 35 years. This year a 5th grader (A 5th GRADER), has decided to target my friend and try to get her to quit or retire early. She's not even in her class, but she misbehave around and towards my friend so that she can complain and accuse her of targeted, abusive, dismissive treatment. My friend is strong but the lack of school administration and teacher union support, not to mention the girls mom, she went out on stress leave. And this is in Northern CA. Finally the solution was a no contact contract where they have no interaction whatsoever. But that's bullshit, teachers need backup and students need discipline, even if they're not getting it at home.
Toni, I got an important update on the kids life this past Monday. I updated the article at the bottom and called it Aftermath Part II. Hopefully this sheds some light on the power of restorative conversation.
Man. That's fucked.
I honor you, spiritual warrior. It takes genuine agency to acknowledge the extent to which we must be willing to go to truly save one from themselves. One must grasp at something hidden in plain sight; God’s patience with ALL OF US, believers and nonbelievers.
Happy Easter ye lowly and fruitful saint of teachers. Continue your walk with LORD. And never let go of his hand.
Not everyday I get to be called a spiritual warrior. Appreciate it
AnonmymousAddict, I got an important update on the kids life this past Monday. I updated the article at the bottom and called it Aftermath Part II. I think you'll enjoy where it goes.
I keep thinking that a mandatory ROTC boot camp style public school with all the trappings of real basic training is the system needed for these kids. You can see the problem... broken down by his life circumstances to a deep level of insecurity that the kid attempts to resolve in creating an identity based on a completely wrong path of behavior. The military strips that identity and builds one with the right path of behavior. I would also pay the kids for the work they are required to do at that camp... and give them promotional opportunities for demonstrated higher performance.
I would start this for kids that turn age 14.
Mandatory service would be an interesting experiment I'd like to see play out for kids who can't handle public school.
Frank lee, I got an important update on the kids life this past Monday. I updated the article at the bottom and called it Aftermath Part II. I think you'll enjoy where it goes.
Why Why Why oh Why
Do teachers have to put up with this shit? Why do school boards allow this?
its frustrating for sure. And this was a particularly ludicrous case I dealt with 2 years ago. But on the flipside, I do believe the restorative conversations are more helpful then a suspension with no conversation. Its a far more arduous process, but it usually leads to better results.
Mark, here's an article I wrote in response to my own frustration with this students graduation. It may shed some light on why high schools do everything they can not to kick kids out of the school even when they derail everyone else's education.
https://fittoteach.substack.com/p/make-a-high-school-degree-mean-something
Mark, I got an important update on the kids life this past Monday. I updated the article at the bottom and called it Aftermath Part II. I think you'll enjoy where it goes.
Hats off to you! In my opinion that is the same as a super bowl win!
pretty solid win =)
Tough to give up on a kid like that. Everyone else has. Are you going to be the one who makes a difference? I think so.
Tough to continue as is as well. That’s why we get to grow up & make the tough calls. Except you care & you’ll end living with it too. So go ahead & give him what you know he needs.
He'll never have what he needs, that ship has sailed, it's too late for him. There are so many kids who we *can* make a difference for who need our help. David isn't one of them. He's a lost cause.
Maybe. Maybe not. I think thats joy and frustration with teaching in general. You never know what you do or what you say that will actually make difference. Kids you thought were guaranteed to get a great job, end up living at home, others kids you convinced were going to become drug addicts clean up their act together later.
You just don't know. You only get to try.
I commend your patience and extension of grace. While your other students suffered through it, they also learned life lessons on how to use those qualities when necessary. Teaching often is planting trees under whose shade you will never sit.
That last line is a good one. I'm going to tuck that into my back pocket.
Way more patience than I'd have displayed.
Appreciate it
Whatever they are paying you it isn't enough. Thank you for your service💜
I like you John.
Also, I got an important update on the kids life this past Monday. I updated the article at the bottom and called it Aftermath Part II. I think you'll enjoy where it goes.