Sorry. These are basically non-negotiable for losing weight.
Hop on any diet you want. Keto, Paleo, Vegetarian, Vegan, 2 bananas a day, the model diet (champagne in the morning, cocaine in the evening) - all are available. If it worked it's because you were in a calorie deficit. If it didn’t work it’s because you weren’t in a calorie deficit.
Is your goal to lose weight? Or is your goal to lose fat? To lose weight all you need to do is hold a calorie deficit. If your goal is to lose fat, then you need to eat a high protein diet and clang and bang some weights while in a calorie deficit.
If you don’t want to feel like you’re completely starving on your weight loss journey, then nutrient dense foods are your best friends. Low fat animal proteins, fruits and veggies are low cal and fill you up with volume.
You want a shot at success while applying the above rules. Great. Go the fuck to sleep. 8+ plus hours.
For cardio needs, nothing beats walking. You can hop on a stationary bike in a fluorescent lit gym and bore yourself to death for 30 min. Or you can go outside, feel the sun on your face and the wind and your hair and say hello to a neighbor as you walk for 30 min. The calories burned will be roughly the same.
If you’re good on the weekdays but you “suck” on the weekends, and you count Friday night as part of the weekend, then you’re fucking up three out of seven days which means your fucking up 43% of the time which means your overall grade is a 57. Which is a fail. Which means you don’t suck on the weekends, you just suck.
Anyone can hold a calorie deficit for a week. Most can do it for a month. Some can do it for multiple months. But a true badass understands that the end goal is to avoid putting the weight back on after it's been lost. Find the diet that you can comply with long term. Forever. This is life.
There will always be an excuse. Work got crazy. The kids got sick. I overslept. I caved to peer pressure. I couldn’t meal prep. The old military saying applies here. “Excuses are like assholes. Everyone has one, and they stink.”
Refer to rule #4 and then return here. Your phone is a life stealing time waste, it is not a fucking alarm clock. If you allow that shit into your bedroom at night, it will steal your sleep. Go to amazon, by this ten dollar alarm clock, and keep your goddamn phone out of your goddamn bedroom. You’ve got goals dammit, and your phone is likely to derail all of them.
All of the rules are a million times easier to follow if you have a community of people who are also following them. Get your partner on board, talk shit to your friends when one of them has the cheesecake, shame anyone with a phone in their bedroom past 9 o'clock. Getting sexy is more fun when you do it together.
See you next Wednesday. Toodaloo Mothafuckas.
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All good advice. It's not complicated. Eat less, and exercise. Rinse and repeat. Stay disciplined.