Do you know how much random shit is out there on the world wide web? Do you have any idea? You can back up literally any idea you can think of with at least 20,000 sources. The earth is flat. Google’s got your back. The earth is round? Google’s got your back. The earth is a dodecahedron marble that space giants use for ass play? Fuck it, I betcha Google’s got your back*.
The point being every single piece of advice given on this fitness/education blog should be taken with a large grain of salt and a personal willingness to try the advice for yourself before swearing by it. None of the advice (indeed nothing in general) should be taken for truth until you’ve given it your own careful examination. This is the goddamn internet for christ sake; a random blogger's recommendations may just lead you down the path of eating raw liver and yak testicles.**
So, why am I telling a reader of my article to fuck off and not trust me? Simple. I’m human. I’m going to make mistakes. There are things I believed ten years ago that I no longer do. Likely, some of the fitness advice and educational musings that I write will change within the next ten years as well. I’m only as good as my own experience, and the margins of my experience expand every single year. That’s the plan at least.
*If anyone wants to plug that in the search bar and see what comes up, post it in the comments…I’m curious, but I’m scared to look.
**Long live the liver king.
WHO IS THIS GUY!?!
So what experience are you getting here? After all, you’re reading this blog on the internet; you could be anywhere. Thanks, by the way. The following are two bios. One is short. The short one allows you to skip the other one and get on with your day. The other is long. This one will add a bit more color to the author behind these posts. Hopefully both provide a tiny look at my experiences and help you evaluate whether this blog is worth your time.
Short Bio:
Strength & Conditioning Coach for over a decade. Six year inner city public school P.E./Health teacher in Harlem, NYC. People have given me some dollars to discuss nutrition. Went from 150 lbs to 220 lbs back to a current 180 lbs. Currently has a fluctuating six pack situation. Proud creator of multiple strength and conditioning programs for kids and teens. Solid weekend chef. Power-cleaned 315 exactly once. Can dance. Will party.
Long Bio:
You have been warned. I originally intended for this to be one post but I had to break it up into three separate parts because it just kept growing. The first part will focus on high school and my introduction to lifting weights. The second part will focus on college and my introduction to Crossfit and teaching. The third part will focus on my first year in Harlem.
You should probably just stick to the short bio.
Alright, fuck it. You made your choice.
High School
In high school I was a band geek - a proud band geek. Winner of multiple state championships for marching band, part of an award winning jazz band, and my senior year the band leadership chose me to become drum major. That’s the conductor/band team leader for you uninitiated. I was put in a leadership position over 150 of my peers and the band expected me to provide an example of hard work, enthusiasm, and I had to keep the damn beat. We won that year.
But even with all that marching band glory, one could say I was more than a little self conscious about my own image. Standing at 5’11, 145 pounds, I was rail thin and more than a little envious of all the athletes who caught the girl’s attention. I mean what the hell, we were the ones winning all the championships. I can clearly remember the day when I was 16, standing next to my best friend Marshall at set position in marching band practice. The idea popped into my head and I just said, “Yo Marshall, once marching season is done, let's hit the gym and get jacked. You in?” He said he was in.
(Guy to the left. That's me. Lots of room for cargo.)
True to our word we joined the purple and gold halls of Planet Fitness as soon as marching season ended. The judgment free zone was definitely full of judgment, but there were a couple of good guys around who didn’t mind giving us some advice about what the hell to actually do. Marshall quit after two weeks, but for whatever reason I decided to stick with it. It was a pivotal moment in my life. I haven’t missed doing some kind of training at least once a week in over 15 years.
Was it brilliant strength training? Absolutely fucking not. But it was enough to start the gym’s infinite positive feedback loop. After 6 months of religiously hitting the gym or doing some kind of fitness, I put on a staggering 5ish pounds of muscle. The tadpole had grown a fin, and it was just enough for people to start commenting. The summer before senior year confidence was at an all time high and I actually found that I could look a girl in the eye and have a conversation with her.
In a gloriously embarrassing 30 seconds I lost my virginity that summer and I don’t think a 16 year old is capable of making a stronger positive link between the gym and happiness. The gym lets you talk to girls. Gym is life.
(End of Part 1)