You! Yeah, you there! You!
You have no idea what I can believe.
I believe love is the answer to all our woes and I believe love is the main reason we commit suicide. I believe you should be the absolute most jacked version of yourself you can possibly be but also everyone should chill out and enjoy the birthday cake. I believe one of the worst things that could possibly happen to you is growing up rich, spoiled, and having everything handed to you and I believe someone handing me a million dollars would change my life course for the better. I believe teachers are saints sent down from heaven to lift the youth from the shite and I believe teachers usher student creativity to the pit of doom. I believe social media has turned the current generation into a pile of mindless zombies addicted to a dopamine drip and instagram is one of the greatest learning tools ever created. I believe processed food is part of an axis of evil designed to prop up capitalism and send our bodies into a diabetic hell, but you’re a lunatic if you’ve never binged cool ranch Doritos before. I believe internet porn is the main reason for the decline of good sex in America but I thank god the bottom 60% of male users on Tinder get to use it. I believe people who have a strong sense of spirituality are weirdos but man I sure could use some. I believe everyone should be judged on their own individual merit but I can’t help but laugh when a 63 year old white male from Rolling Stone interviews a 23 year old black hip-hop artist about the evolution of their craft. I believe no one should be judged by their lowest moment in life but rapists should rot in hell. Pizza is the superior food and no juxtaposing cognitive dissonance here; it’s not a belief.
It just is.
I believe struggle is the mother of all growth. Happiness derives from painful struggle. And can the goddamn government make some goddamn affordable housing so I can move out of my goddamn parent’s basement!?! I believe girls should never settle until they find “the one,” but could they for once in their life give the nice guy a clean fair shot? I believe sleep is the cornerstone to a good life but the best nights of our lives are the sleepless ones. I believe everyone needs a friend when they’re down and out but Frodo really didn’t need Sam to carry him up that mountain. That was just lazy. I believe complication and nuance are at the heart of every discussion but when the social media Zombie apocalypse comes and the data wiped minds of dead teenagers come looking to chomp down on my healthy brain matter, I will rejoice in knowing a binary kill or be killed arena will replace thoughtful discussion. Fuck capitalism, but I love air conditioning. When god grants me the wisdom to know when I can’t change the fortunes set before me…I accept, but I also plot to drown that god in a boiling pit of lava.
Because fuck you. I choose my narrative.